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First, thank you for saying the 'you're -' piece of things. I put my age in there because I arrogantly don't think it matters, but know that it does, and so I'm glad you told me what I obviously need to hear but still probably not listen to. In regards to that limit, that spingboard, here is a more solidified version of what I'm thinking, because the question of self control, fasting, those all fall within my comfort zones. I want to hit that limit. I want to feel real, to be in an existential battle and win or lose. Just to be in one. That is the passion I find so appealing. And I think pain be how I do that. By giving up the ability to not face the limit. If I literally can’t. No safe-word, no backdoor, none of that. I want to go past the point where I would use one. And I am so afraid of what is there. God I am so afraid. What would be left? What would I be when it stopped? Would it stop? How would the person know when to stop. I would have to trust them, yes, but how would I or they know? When is broken down broken enough? What would too broken look like? Would I crack? What would that mean? Could I recover? But still, I want to know. I cannot imagine being so afraid. But I cannot look away.

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Hey lostboy1313 from OKCupid w4m Before closing your OKC account you sent me an email as follows:
"Wow, you're absolutely typical. Now that I think about it, I wrote you about a year ago too before leaving this site to date someone. And you're still here! I can't imagine why..."
Given you don't have an account, I wasn't given the chance to reply. So, I am doing that now:
I may in fact be typical. I do not know how women have treated you on this or any other website.
I don't remember you writing me a year ago but I have gotten many emails over the years from different people. Sometimes we strike up a connection and form a friendship sometimes not. I don't take offense when I don't hear back from people. Without meeting in person, it can be hard for me to really feel like I have meet a person at all. I understand that people have a life and can get busy or distracted.
I indeed am still "here" on OKCupid. I have made a number of real (and amazing!) friends from this website and it is free so I have no incentive to close my account. I am sure in another year to come I will still be there and will still be making new friends who become very dear to me.
As far as me never actually meeting up with you, (which you did not mention in your email, but I feel it is implied) I have become very sick over the past 9 months with 3 different life threatening problems during my pregnancy. I have now been at the hands of two different surgeons and will have at least one more before my baby is in my arms next month. My focus on my health and survival has taken up quite a bit of my attention at the neglect of communication with strangers on the internet. It is not personal and in no way meant to be a comment on our report up to that point.
Between being deathly sick, caring for my two little girls, working, and trying to complete my degree... well, there is no good excuse for blowing anyone off, but I do try to be respectful and kind.
I hope you are well, and enjoying some awesome vegetarian co-op without me. If our paths should cross again, please say hi. Good luck on your search for whatever it is you hope to find. <3

I am looking for a Lesbian for NSA I'm looking for a lesbian who want to be strictly friends with benefits wit a male. I had a NSA relationship like this with a girl for about a year, but we went our separate ways a while ago and now I'm trying to recapture that with someone new. This is strictly sexual, I won't pry into your life and I don't expect you to do that to me either. Just be real wit memphis tennessee lesbian. me and we'll take it from there. Please d/d free and 420 friendly (weed is not a it's a plant). I'm serious, this is a real ad and I don't like bluffers. I understand if this is your first time doing something like this you might be skeptical or worried at first, and I'm a patient person... But if youre bluffing or really into wasting time, please dont hit me up... this is the NSA section, its obvious why were both here... Doms or fems hit me up

Wanted: Taboo m4w I think the title says it all but I am a 24 year old male who is looking for an older woman (Preferably late 30s or early 40s) who is into the idea of role playing.
Im an attractive, athletic white male who is a diehard Royals fan who needs a Mom. If youre interested, me back ASAP! Ive done this once before and it was the most exhilarating, hottest experience of my life. Now its time to try this again!
Put "Royals!" in the subject line.