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When I read your post earlier today, I decided not to make a quick off the cuff reply, because you deserve better. I doubt that the direction your life is taking you is ever going to give you much satisfaction. You have to face this head on. Even if you cheat on your wife, you probably won't find satisfaction. And don't expect suppressing and hiding your desires to help your marriage. You, not your wife, need to talk about this with a good professional. You need to learn to look at your feelings and find some meaning in them. You don't need to be cured, don't get me wrong; what I think you need is help in learning to understand yourself, and then, subsequently, finding the strength and the words to talk about this with your wife. You are posting from the San Bay Area ( ) and if that is where you actually live, then there is almost a surplus of good sex-positive therapists. And that is what you should seek: a sex-positive therapists. State you needs in your first meeting if not before; if he/she is not comfortable with your situation, or if you are not with him/her, then move on. You owe this both to yourself and to your wife. As you develop a comfort level in understanding your own desires, and an ability to talk about it, your wife might want to join in. Lastly, differences such as yours, between you and your wife, often lead to divorce, regardless of therapy. In some cases, the sooner the better. Too people on, fight, struggle against each other, suffer, cause suffering, and still get divorces. A huge waste of energy. No one is satisfied; no one is happy. Go forward into this seeking to both give and receive happiness.
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